What is happening?
by Grendon
Summary: Elrond roams a ruined Middle Earth. Alas.


I adore Lord of the Rings and even feel guilty about writing a silly story but at the moment that's what I am in the mood for. An alternative future maybe for Middle Earth. Hope ya like it! I guess it digs at the films a bit, but I love the films too. I think what Peter Jackson has accomplished is absolutely fantastic and is what cinema was made for. I just hope Beregond is in Return of the King! There is a lovely part in the book with him and Pippin. I think he will give us a very emotional ending.  
  
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Grendborg slept uneasily. He saw a great rock face and men walked out in a single file from within the very rock as if it was not there. They wielded great hammers and made immense strides to reach a hillock, bathed in a dark red light upon which stood a child. He saw the child's face more clearly revealing a manic rictus beneath long curly blond hair. Each of the men in turn lifted their hammers and struck the child. The child did not even flinch. Each powerful strike caused the very ground to shake, the hillock seeming to crack open and each time the man disappeared in a flash of white light. The line of men did not end, they kept coming, continuous, each in turn engulfed in light.  
  
He awoke suddenly to receive a blade of elfkind in his left nostril. Elrond stood highly erect before the dying orc.  
  
"Haha! Another dead orc. Ever have I been covered in the blood of orcs since I left my kind and joined zombie Balin to roam the remains of Middle Earth."  
  
"Yes it has been fun Elrond! Though, tis a shame Frodo never was able to cast the ring into the very fires of Mount Doom. Sauron only went for a stroll, after a heavy nights drinking with the Witch King, and headed towards Mount Doom and stumbled upon Sam, Frodo and Gollum playing poker." Zombie Balin sighed and a sadness washed over his face. Then his nose fell off. "Darn. Wood and tree! Oh well."  
  
"Well, what now my zombie friend?", asked Elrond.  
  
"Im not sure. We have no friends. All my people have been slaughtered including me. The Elves have all gone cept' you of course. The Men of Rohan and Gondor are all dead. The Ents were all burnt to death just before the Entwives returned and then they were burnt too.. Alas! Woe is upon us. Oh look here comes Gollum! Mayhap he can lead us to some fun and take our minds away from darkness and shadow for our lives ever linger in shadow. Ain't Shadow and linger great words! I do enjoy saying them"  
  
"Orcses approach! Fly foolses! Follow and trust good Smeagle!." Gollum ran past them up some rocks and things.er with a big mountain full of clefts and the moon was waxing reflecting in a nearby pool. There were lots of other nice scenic details to write about too.  
  
Elrond and Zombie Balin followed the strange creature but he lead them to 10, 000 Uruk-Hai and so they both died but not before they had hacked down 2000 each. And there left the last goodness that lingered in Middle Earth and all was veiled in darkness especially the Shire. The Balrogs were reborn and roamed the land with fire and shadow. Fell beasts filled the air and trolls laid foul poo everywhere. Sauron sat upon the seat of power and wept with joy.  
  
"So.er .Sauron. what now? There is no good left to destroy. And lets face it Zombie Balin wasn't even that nice," said Saruman who now shared a bed with Sauron who is actually a rather attractive young lady beneath all the armour and red eyeiness.  
  
"Erm..well..i dunno. Let me think. Ill have a nice cup of Earl Grey! Yes. Two sugars please and bring me my slippers Saruman!"  
  
Suddenly Haldir awoke! "Aggheee what a horrid dream! Alas that such images should pass my mind. And why am I lying on this battlement. Hmmm this is Helm's Deep! I'm not supposed to be here. Ughhh there are lots of my kin dead around me! Noooooooo!"  
  
"Wow! Well slap my thigh and call me Charlie! You are alive! I was just about to bury you!" Gamling was standing nearby with Erkenbrand.  
  
"Yes your not supposed to be here and I never got the recognition I deserved. I was the one Gandalf went to find not Eomer." Erkenbrand fell to his knees and sobbed.  
  
"Hmmm I think there has been a temporal flux in the time-space continuum. That can only be the explanation." Haldir arose and looked about the great fortress in the mountain. "Hmmm! Nice crib. Well ill be off!" And with that he put on his shades walked off into the sunset. Clippity clip went his feet.  
  
Then he stopped. "Why did I dream about an orc dreaming? Weird!"  
  
The End 


End file.
